Saturday, September 19, 2009

Magical Orb Remade

Zorac's a character from my story, the 2nd sequel to The Exes. A book that happens to be about 2 races, namely humans and Exes ( a race of my imagination). According to the story's past history Zorac was the father of all Exes and Eleanor was the mother of all Humans. Of course the events in the first book will be further explained in the second. Things that seemed mysterious and puzzling to the readers will be explained in the second sequel. And the history of Zorac and Eleanor is where it all started.

I drew the first draft of Zorac 3 years ago. (displayed below)


Magical Orb by ~TripleTee on deviantART

This time I've done a remake of him. (below)


Magical Orb Remake by ~TripleTee on deviantART

I guess I'm content with the outcome and he happened to be easier to make than the last time.

Hope you like it :)

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Arabian Chronicles

Be warned: Long post
Be warned again: Vague and complex post, not easy to understand

Arabian Chronicles


The mood of writing about myself never struck me as something I would do even though the thought did cross my mind. I always found biographies too real to be interesting. That is until I figured that most fiction stories which left a mark in me were issues extracted from reality. How interesting it turned out depended on the writer and in what light people were willing to look at it. I am a daughter of many former dynasties and generations and yet more of a commoner than people believe. What I say or write are thoughts that are either too difficult to put into words or beyond my level to explain. I merely write at my own whim and I remain silent at my own whim all the same. I do not write to please nor upset those who read my words. I write to write. I write to state what is and what has become. I write to live and leave my mark on this world even after I am long gone. Something I believe many before me have done and are still doing now. I will not deny that I feel myself insignificant compared to many great lives that’ve caused so many changes in this world and I do not expect myself to reach their level. I’ve too much humility for that. However, the more I observe life the more I realize how we all go through the same stages. Those great figures now were just like me and you once upon a time. They thought like us, they lived and went through the same experiences we did. So what makes you or me any different? What makes you think that anyone no matter where they come from are any different?

The person I am today is very much like she was when she was born 22 years ago, only time and experience have changed the way I started viewing life. And in many cases I do not like what I see. Yet in many other cases I also do. What my experiences made me was an extreme feminist, revolutionist, humanist, and pacifist. It’s a constant battle that’s been going on for centuries. My mind’s gone numb from trying to find solutions to life’s problems. Understanding such disputes is not one of my strengths. But understanding humanity is. I know I’m not the only one with questions of why life is what it is. I know that what I write has most probably been thought of before by someone else. And I know for a fact now that no matter how many times I thought I was the only secluded weird girl, I was too blind to see that many others grew to share my views one way or another. So perhaps I’m not alone. Perhaps life’s outer appearance could be deceiving.

If I were to note down the reasons I chose to write this, I could not give a specific answer, because what I’m trying to pass on is a message that’s even puzzling to myself. This message can only be concluded by the reader. Every person sees things in a different light and may see something in what I write that I myself might not realize. There’s also a chance that this might never be read, but I’d like to have it exist nevertheless for myself. Because these thoughts merely stored in the back of my head are a torment. I’m on campus and things my side have been going well. However, certain sights over here sadden me. They’re issues in my country that may be worse in other countries. However as long as where I belong has these issues, it’s what concerns me the most. My ignorance of the past may give me no right to judge, but I know enough to see that something is not right. Histories spoke of kings and rulers throughout generations. I’ve barely heard of the other gender though, my gender. What were they like in my world? What must’ve happened to make them the way they are today?
I walk around here seeing nothing but black figures and I hate the fact that I am forced to walk around in the same manner. In these figures I see shame and lack of self confidence in every one of them; because they were made to believe that they were inferior. However what I also see in these figures are trapped birds trying to peck their cages open. I see birds that are prevented from flying and I ask myself why. Why did things turn out this way? What happened in the past to have caused women to be segregated from society and degraded to covered figures who’re in a constant battle of trying to prove their existence? As much as they try to deny it, I know that deep within no sane human would be happy to be in their shoes. I know this because I am one of them. The only difference between me and them is the fact that I refuse to accept it. Because I know something is wrong and this is not the way things are supposed to be. Why do they have to hide themselves behind black veils? What is wrong with who they are and why should they be ashamed to show themselves to the world? Are they not a part of this world? Did they not give birth to humanity? So in what way are they inferior?

My country has given them more rights than most other Arabian countries, but certain boundaries still exist and in rural areas conservative families exist more than I ever expected. Yet from what I observed, they’re not the only ones suffering from this. I’ve seen through the fact that men are suffering as well. Because believe it or not these limitations affect their lives too. That is not a sight I like watching. The images in my dreamy mind show a different picture. They show those black figures spring out of their cages into colourful phoenixes. They show the rebirth of females revealed exactly the way they are. And they show men by their side, interacting…. Not miles away from them until betrothed. It’s a harmonious image. It’s relaxing. It’s happy. It’s the real joy of being alive. It’s humane. It’s the world I’d like to be a part of. Somewhere where you are acknowledged is somewhere you belong. Because how could you belong to a place that doesn’t recognize your existence? Where do your allegiances lie? Could you really call that your home? Or do you call it that because you have no other choice? Do not pretend. I see through you. I am you. And you are me.
There are boundary issues related to this. Veils are but one barrier. Power is another. You live in the rule similar to the rule of the jungle. The rule that the stronger rules. But what is strength really? Is it strength of the body or strength of the heart? I see strength in those who endure injustice for so long and still find the will to live on. I see strength in those who never give up. And perhaps this attitude is the key to change. Perhaps the change that will make the images in my mind come true.

It is true that people do not do harm so proudly more than when they do it out of religious conviction. But you see, even the religious amateur in me can tell that religion is in no way the cause of this, it was merely used to carry out human motives. Used by most of those so called religious fakes who brainwash simpletons for their own objectives. And the result was this gloomy sight I see in front of me now as well as the false media of blaming it on religion. While on the other hand others completely ignore religious teachings according to their own fancy of following culture. On what level do they then call themselves Muslims? Refusing different stereotypes into families was a rule I did not see in our Islamic teachings. Those degraded females however don’t exactly have the choice to refuse to follow such blasphemies.
I was told by a friend once. That these rules are the only things Arabs have to be proud of. Culture… backgrounds. Because they lost their advanced selves from the past when technology in other countries overpowered them. But is clinging onto the past really the solution? We are a proud race. But I believe that as long as we live in this dark hole our pride is meaningless. We’ve lost our credibility which can only be retrieved by taking the challenge and focusing on the future. Not dwelling on the past. Do people really understand that? Or are they too busy refusing to copy others out of their own ego? Haven’t we been copied and overruled ourselves? Were we not the best in science ages ago? But these ideas were taken and improved by others? Because they know how to make use of their resources. So perhaps this shows that copying and learning from others is not a bad thing after all? You hold an unnecessary grudge against your rivals. You do not hold a high opinion of the west and yet secretly you admire them. Because they surpassed you. They’re advanced.. That’s why you Arabs do not want to acknowledge them. You’ve lost your confidence in believing in yourselves and chose the easy way out. This may be understandable. But it’s not your key to improvement. There will be no harm in copying them the same way they copied you. Learn from them the same way they learned from you. Surpass them the same way they surpassed you. But most importantly respect them the same way they respect you. I know some don’t. But those are not the ones you should be concerned with. They’re merely the uncivilized ignorants of the flock. Same as we have uncivilized ignorants in our flocks. Those are the ones that try to invite people into our religion as if their own religions are not good. And mind you we have many of those disrespectful people around. Remember that they are similar to you. They’ve grown up believing in their teachings just as much as you have grown up believing in yours. Do not be so ignorant as to enforce your beliefs on others. That’s the sort of disrespect no one appreciates. If you do not wish for people to make fun of your religion especially the reaction Denmark got from that comic. Then do not make fun of other religions. Those are my observations.

…. And that concludes my post for today.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

License Retrieved!!

Guess who finally got her license!


Finallyyy!
I was almost dying a slow death back there.
Even though I was pretty much ready my nerves got the better of me and I ended up shaking. I never thought I was the type to fret over exams because I hardly ever do when it comes to paperwork. But it seems like this time panic just rushed out of me. If I haven't been used to driving already due to the countless practices I had, I would've had a problem. But luckily for the first time luck was on my side. I made no mistakes this time and I could tell the policeman was pleased with my performance. I'm officially a light vehicle driver just like all of you who have the license and are reading this now. :D

Monday, August 24, 2009

And Yet a Dream Found

This is my new baby...

So I've always wanted a flute when I was young... and before a few days I finally got a silver one. It was a present from a charming French Lady and am almost quite sure it's quite an instrument. I hope to master it if just a little. it wasn't easy to play at first but I think I'm getting the hang of it.

Takes a lot of practice though.




III don't caree... what matters now's I got a fluuute...
so yeah.... where's C sharp again?? XD

One of the songs I plan to learn's down here.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Constructive Comments?



I don't think such a thing exists with kids. It never really mattered before cuz I only shared drawings for the heck of it. Lately I haven't been seeing my friends that often to work with so I wanted the public opinion to see if in their eyes my drawings have improved. That was a big mistake. All I ever got was... awww that's nice.. orr... good stuff. I could tell either they didn't mean it or those are not grown ups commenting. It never mattered when I didn't need it... but it's starting to get annoying. Every time I enter a thread hoping to hear something useful all I get is a routine of nices and good jobs (which I think most just write to be polite)... I've decided to stop sharing there.

I was gonna ask about which forum or place to visit in order to get constructive comments from those who know what they're talking about. Well if anyone knows plz share.

In case you were wondering what I was talking about. The drawings are here.
I know what I said up there would make you readers afraid to comment now... but feel free.. this is my blog.. wont be expecting constructive comments here XD... lol.. here I only share for memoirs as a diary.




Friday, July 10, 2009

The closer you get to something, The tougher it is to see it

Guess I'm just in love with this song. lol Naruto Shippuuden almost rules all on my list.



Lyrics:

You've gotta be extra careful with
The things that are close and dearest to you
You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it
Explain to me all my happiness
That you just experienced by my side
Or maybe you're so blessed in ways that
You can't even remember it all
That you are standing here with me
That you live and breathe and see and feel
They're all little miracles and wonder
Just by themselves.
You've gotta be extra careful with
The things that are close and dearest to you
You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it

You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it
And I'll never take it for granted
It's fine to say "Never give up"
Say "Keep chasing your dreams on
But the more time you spend talking big
The less you get done with life
I'll let that handful of courage in my heart
Help me survive another day
And I'll never take it for granted


Guess the best thing I like about Japanese is their Morals.

Monday, June 29, 2009

A Dream Lost



Long ago I never thought this would be an issue... but now every time I see a kid wearing the outfit you see above... or every time I hear someone mention they were practicing the Martial Arts... a surge of immense jealousy suddenly sprouts out from inside me... I start feeling down for a long time after that...
I've always wanted to learn the Martial Arts as a kid, but I never got the chance... 1. cuz I didn't try to convince my dad when I was young. and 2. now that I'm a grown up and these martial arts are usually taught by men... I'm afraid I won't be allowed to... plus... I might be too old with 22 to start now...

this blows! =(

Monday, May 25, 2009

Disturbance

So I apparently need anger management now. Why?... 2 incidents happened these few months...
both have to do with knowing how to deal with an insane sibling who finds pleasure in disturbing me. Contain my anger and manage it?... I'd rather manage him to be honest.
analyze this:

whenever you wake up in the morning and that sibling's around... you may be reading, watching a movie or studying (that's usually rare but during exams it's quite often)... but every time you do these things this sibling of yours (whenever he's around) would barge into the room and either walk around your desk to see what you're doing (which I usually never give him the chance)... or play with your things (whatever he gets his eyes on).. or simply stand there in front of you talking crap while you're not in the mood and trying to concentrate on something else... and if you don't give him a face or cuss him out.. he finds anything he could to blackmail you (in the hopes of teaching you a lesson to start respecting his sorry ass).
Now imagine telling him to leave you alone and he doesn't listen... then imagine moving up to the 2nd stage of telling him to butt off and he still doesn't listen. Take your imagination to the 3rd stage and think of this happening to you every day for a whole week...
I'm sorry what?... 6 years old?... no no... he's 23 years old... you heard me right...

what were the incidents that made my anger get out of control? once I gave him a zillion warnings to leave me alone and because I was not friendly to him, he cut off the internet from me using the excuse that I was not studying (which was never his business). I had to get him back somehow... and no one was around at home to show him his limits. The only thing I saw were a pair of shoes. His most expensive ones I guess. yes yes... I destroyed them... more like cut them. You think that's extreme? It gave me the results I wanted.
my dad wasn't happy about that but my bro was told to stop disturbing me ever since (1 incident)... the 2nd incident was yesterday... when I again gave him warnings and after a long time of stubbornness from his side I took anything I saw in the table and got ready to throw it at him. He knew I would do it so he walked away saying that he'd tell my dad about this.

I wonder if any of the readers have a brother like that... those who don't... I can only confess you're much better off without it.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Perfect World International



So I've been addicted to this online game for the past few months... Checking it out will show you why (the link's on the title)... everything in it is beautiful. Perhaps that's why it's called perfect world...

apparently many adults play it... I don't just mean highschool and university students but people over 30 years and 40 too XD... I'm not sure what to think of that... but there's a variety.
I think it's a Chinese company that made it... I was expecting Japanese...

And these images are not exaggerated... the game actually is as good as it looks. It's just hard to level up XD

These are my screenshots with the different Characters I made... my best one is Selabur.. only one that reached up to lvl 40 so far...

what I liked the most is the ability to alter almost everything in your character's appearance to make them look exactly the way you want them and almost make them look like yourself.






Was fooling around and posing for the screenshot here...


made a hot guy like this to see what it's like playing as a guy in the game. I must admit he did attract the girls XD





course there're a lot more things to show but I guess this gives the main idea... it's a hard thing not to get addicted to.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You're Not Alone

Some edited FFIX video and song that a girl called Kate Covington wrote and displayed on Youtube... I sort of liked it and decided to share it here. The video quality is kind of low unfortunately... but her lyrics are staggering to me. Nice and simple.

P.S. Other FF female character are beautiful but I find Princess Garnet the cutest so far.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Reality Vs Imagination (illustrator?)

Just how good is this program really?... or should I say that depends on the artist who uses it?

Here's a little example on tracing in illustrator that I tried... well it was supposed to be a tutorial but since I'm out of that phase I decided to post it here just to show.

One thing you should know about me that may either be good or bad... I hate copying or tracing anything from real life... it's not interesting enough for me... cuz it's right there... why have a painting of something that already exists in a much better form than you can ever paint it? Just take a picture....

It is good because I can go far with my imagination... but... what's bad about me thinking this way... is that my imagination does not become real enough... and to make it real and fitting.. I'm unfortunately forced to copy from life... otherwise my characters will turn out like this...


To sum it up... it is like looking through realism in order to carry on my fantasy... essential... because what gives a good art its quality... is when you make it look real and convincing.
This is one of the ways I was trying to get there:



Hope you like it =)

can anyone guess who it is btw? =p

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Update (New Leaf)

Well, here's the new layout to make up for the previous mess... I'm not gonna say I like the simplicity, the only reason I made it simple was cuz I'm not familiar with the complex codings... so this'll do for now :p

What I have to display today is nothing new... I haven't been drawing for a long while now... locked up in trying to animate instead... and every animated sequence I make ends up in the bin. The simplest of them all were these...



but to think that I have to draw 24 sequences to make a movie of one second... sounded demotivating... however... to everything a beginning eh?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Started Maya

So I started one of my intended practices... I wanted to start modeling and started reading tutorials on Maya. Since I have Maya 8 I downloaded and ebook on all references related to it. Let's just say the guy made it sound so easy... I never thought I'd be able to model in Maya but I guess this raised my confidence a bit..here are some results.





Just the beginning I guess... hopefully I'll show you better models in the future.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Gulf Cup 2009 (Mabrookeen Yal A7mar!!)



Yesterday Oman won the gulf cup 2009 for the first time ever. The match was nerve wrecking... I've not seen a more challenging football game in so long since no goals were made and the match dragged on to the last 5 times 11 metre kicks. But both teams have played very well and KSA's walls were not easily breached...
I could see some players were nervous and too much depended on the penalty kicks... how the players managed to hold their own was quite a ticket to watch.
I've heard KSA is not an easy team to beat... but Oman has shown outstanding levels, especially since they have been trying for the past 2 times to get the cup and always ended up 2nd... the 3rd time should not pass unwon was the goal... and a goal well achieved. So congratulations to the red team and all the best of luck to KSA in the coming 2 years, which I hear will take place in Yemen.

May I wish our team good luck as well by then... and once again... Mabrookeen ya Oman! :)

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Been Tagged

Tagged by diablo :D
my favorite shoes...... this would be it...
only I'd advise anyone who wears these not to go somewhere where they have to walk a lot XD


I know the image is blurry... but who cares the shoes are awesome :p

I tag:
-Wolfeya
-Toxic
-Nicobambi

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year!


Just wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year and many new years to come!!

This year's resolution's... difficult to decide...
there are things I want to achieve obviously... but they all take longer than a year to achieve...lol
so I guess I'll go for the basics
I plan to:

-Finish my website
-Finish writing my second sequel to The Exes
-Physically improve my fitness
-Be more attentive
-Exceed in my grades
-Get my license (that's right...still have a test to do)
-be more outspoken
-be there for my loved ones
-learn to follow what I want most

That's all I could think of for now... I'm sure there are more in the back of my head.
I am actually half asleep while writing this... so I guess I'll state all I achieved this year when I'm more awake.

All the best to the rest of you :)
ZZZzzz

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Tagged

Heyz... here I've been tagged by the one and only Diablo!! :D
This was quite a thinker... here goes...
  1. List down 5 things people probably didn't know about you
  2. Tag atleast three people

5 things people probably didn't know about me:
1. I'm a lot more shy than I appear to be
2. I do not complain about bothersome things unless they were worth mentioning or they build up.
3. I go through a stage of mind blockage in the most critical situations... you are going to find me very calm even if my insides were twirling.
4. I laugh when I'm nervous.
5. I'm very bad at tolerating pressure.

I tag:
-Phat
-Red Dragon
-Threadlike
-Nicobambi

Friday, November 14, 2008

Find Me Back a Millenium

I wonder what to rant about this time. I'd consider this blog to be updated every once in a blue moon... and this time I just forced myself to bring it back to life once again...
so yeah... to update you on myself

- My next driving exam's on the 18th (national day...yeah... that better mean good luck)... actually come to think of it...wouldn't the policeman be pissed cuz he doesn't have a holiday like the rest???...I feel screwed.

- I keep hearing this dog bark outside... and it sounds damned annoying. (which has nothing to do with anything except that I felt like mentioning it)

- I feel a lot has changed in me... and in a way I like the changes... I've a dear friend to thank for that. Though I know I've undergone some times where I would experience changes in myself but this one was like from the bottom of the sea right up to the mountain top in a few months. That insecure me is gone... she simply disappeared XD... sorry? ..where to?... a black hole... who knows where she'll pop up in the other end.

-I know I kind of have less contact with some of my friends now a days... and I'm really sorry about that... but I will catch up with you guys some time soon. Do not think that you're forgotten. But I know you know that.

- I'm working on a surprise for The Exes fans out there... I'll say no more :p

- I am a moderator in EnglishSabla no longer... for those who were still wondering. Circumstances over there have not suited me and I decided leaving's the best thing to do. So yeah...being a mod is great and you're a star and wtever... but it about stops there... cuz anything behind the scenes is no big miracle I can assure you. Although patience and tolerance is required, even in that there's a limit. With uni and all, it was just not convenient. So good luck to all you future mods, do not be disheartened... it is fun while it lasts. (though between me and you... make sure your boss does not hold favours to others over others) cuz once that happens to you, working for someone like that would not be worth your efforts anymore) (and make sure you kick asses of those who deserve it... that's always fun :p )

- we have a new baby cat who's about as big as my fist. a black hairy ball. They called her Black Princess... I can't think of any worse name people come up with.

-Lastly, this is my last sketch... this girl here has a purpose mind you... you'll see her somewhere else sometime soon.


Hope you like it :)

Friday, August 29, 2008

So it comes and so it goes... and so it comes back again

PhotobucketPhotobucket

These were the fastest artworks I ever made that were colored in photoshop. I must say they look a lot better than many of my traditional drawings but I am not satisfied with the outcome.
Thought I'd post it here nevertheless.

So hey...I was inspired to post again...

Uni is starting soon... I don't know if I'm looking forward to that... last time it started I was quite depressed. Now I'm trying to type this msg and am being disturbed by a being I came to hate so much... that I can't stand being around him anymore. A certain sibling...

anyway... I'm also on the verge of getting my driving license... exam is tomorrow....wish me luck and no comments on me being late on the license... situation was a bit more complicated than that ... it's when you get picky...
You have a good chance to go on a train to god knows where...but it's a business class train... You didn't want that... you wanted the first class... therefore you banned the business class and ended up waiting for the first class that never came... therefore you lost your chances all in all ....something similar happened to me regarding my license... I wanted manual instead of automatic cuz I found it better... but as a girl in an arab country... it's hard to find a woman that teaches manual...they all drive automatic those good for nothings...no offense... but seriously when it comes to the real things women are backwards because they're not ambitious enough... why do they choose automatic and not manual??...cuz it's easy... so take the easy way out and then complain about your rights...ahh... never mind.
Point is... I didn't find a teacher...only difference with this and the train story is not that I wanted something better for luxury but for necessity...or so I would consider it ...to be able to drive anything... to at least be able to call my license a real one...
oh well when I gave up hope of finding any manual teacher I went for automatic in th e end cuz I was not ready to wait another year till my next holiday...

Now I'll finally simply get the bloody license and be done with it.... Lol
That'll be my entry for now.. lol...I'm ok... no worries XD

Saturday, March 08, 2008

You Think You Know


Random Art (Princess Elizabeth in Disguise)

Just wanted to share it.

Now...

I don't have much to say now a days... pretty much waited till everyone left the planet. I'm expecting no one to check this now. So maybe I can write whatever I want? :p...
What's there to write... what would I wanna keep to myself?... I'm 21 now... and I'm apparently updating my blog on my birthday... why... I don't know. But perhaps thinking back at what this year brought for me... I consider it a year I achieved the most in. I've gained confidence... I've gained loved ones... I've gained ambitions and determination. I've gained secret techniques :p... I've gained skills... I've gained a better understanding... now I feel it's almost the time to use it all. But I feel there is still a lot more to gain. And perhaps... that's what this coming year will hold for me.

I've been so careless in the past few years... there's no place for failure now. But I was told ... that every downfall has something good coming out of it... and when you think again... you think... thank god I fell this year... otherwise I wouldn't have gotten that in return. That's pretty much what I feel now. Just another way to reach my goal... and though not intended... it's just a different way... with apparently better results.
I'd like to believe there's a reason for everything... not cuz it's obvious... but cuz it's an encouraging thought, a comforting notion... to think that all is meant to be.

It seems I write a lot when I think no one reads... and yet I'm referring or narrating unknown people XD
I was wondering....

long before I saw visitors in my blog from different countries... at first I thought most of them come from sabla or other forums... but there were many from countries that don't exist in those forums... I wonder who's bothered to google blogs??? well... whoever you guys are... way's open for everyone XD

You know there are a few people in your lives that make you feel special... they're the reason you feel like life's worth living... because they acknowledge you. They value your existence. You live by them... you live for them. I wonder how many feel that way. Or who would think: it doesn't matter who acknowledges you... life goes on.
To me... life's not life if you can't experience its beauties. And having a circle of people you care about is one of those things, that once you have, is just beautiful and can't live without.

So there's been progress since the first day I opened this blog?.... it's been 3 years... and I don't intend to close it... what're you crazy?? Look at the archives XDXDXD... close all that?... no way...lol...
I hope whoever read this enjoyed it...
yours truly,
tee