Monday, October 08, 2007

As Time Goes By... Thoughts Follow

I know... it seems my blog's layout is messed up from what I see... previously it appeared fine with me when I was told it wasn't... now... I see a white background as well...
I'm no expert in HTML... or XML... or whatever it is designers use now a days... and I know it takes ages for a template to be created and placed and so on... it's a whole language on its own... I have the book..." creating websites for dummies"... but I also have loved ones who know such things better than me. I will use a default or keep it this way till I get what I need.
No I'm not closing this down... I've written too much since 2 or more years on this blog... it's full of past memories... and if you think about it... the person I was when I started writing here flipped into someone who thinks and acts a lot different than she used to.

Can't tell why or how I got here... I don't even know why you guys who are reading this even read it XD...I can almost assure you I will not pop up a secret hacking technique or give any tutorials to anything that might be of use to you... but I can also assure you I'm grateful to all the readers.
But hey... those of you who flip through the archives and read the whole thing... yes you...I know you...I've been told about what do you think you're doing?

Let me not bore you out with non-sense... I'll update certain thoughts here... just to have a record...

randomly speaking... dear blog XD

-I only write when I'm mad or need to organize my thoughts now a days.... this entry's for the second reason. .. no worries XD

-I'm missing the bloggers that used to Oblivious, Stella, Violet, Solidus and Blind_Melon... they decided to stop once upon a time...

-it's 6:18 am and I haven't slept yet... in fact... I plan not to sleep this morning until I'm back from my lecture... cuz yesterday I slept through all my lectures and didn't wake up and now I feel terrible.

-you know usually when it comes to universities... people are always on the lookout for friends to get along with especially when they're away from home. I guess not all are as lucky as I am in the sense that friends simply come and approach me out of the blue... but then again... I never asked for them since most undergraduates here differ in mentality that I never thought I'd get along with... why's it always a fact that people never get what they want, but always want what others have?

-I've seen a dozen falling stars these 2 weeks... one would think they're lucky omens XD... but if they appear ever so often... maybe they're just lucky cuz people never bother to look up to see that they actually appear every now and then... I still hope those wishes I made come true

-pride.... prejudice... how many of you manage to admit you're wrong when you are??
is it a shame to be wrong?... I've seen this a lot in forums even... people figure out through the discussions that their comments proved false... and still insist they're right... just so as not to be embarrassed?
what do you think's gonna happen when you say:
Oh...really? that's how it is?... Then I musta been mistaken... my bad.
expect to get a reply saying... you?!! ???
Do discussions have to be a challenge? XD it's like you tend to discuss for the sake of winning rather than coming to an actual conclusion... na2a...nope... that won't work.

-I think I fire back quite a lot... people gave up tryina win discussions with me... heeey... they learnt their lesson :p... but somehow... the lack of challenge is boring me out XD

-Tell me... I feel like there are only a few people I would consider like me .. the way they think and so on. I was wondering... does everyone say that through their own perspectives? Does everyone feel inferior in comparison to other people? Does everyone see a few others like themselves?... and are they always just a few?
Does this mean... what makes you special is who sees you as someone special... but in reality no one exceeds the other? So we are all individually defined by those we know? .

-do you know how it feels to go against the tide?...I'll tell you.... it's bloody difficult.

That's it so far...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Past is Not History.....Yet

Back to the dorms.... back to Uni. Back to the books. Back to isolation and alienation< word exists?

Yes I'm updating again after a long silence of either not knowing what to post or feeling whatever I have to say is not important enough. Those few weeks were pretty interesting however, it's got all the pros and cons... but it was all worthwhile in the end. Just to give a brief idea of the holidays before that...

I went to UK for the first time... yeah I've never been there before... let's just say I kinda felt like I finally saw the culture I was reading in many books displayed in real life finally. I kinda like that country. I like their humor.
so far I haven't come across the rudeness I was told

BTW... we went to carefour in France... it was AWESOME... they sold anything and everything there... then I started comparing that to carefour in Oman... different... it's as typical as any of Oman's centres... I think they just took the name :XD:

I've been back from all that since a month now... got back to a double-life between the net and reality...

If you ask me about the net...well... I'm a moderator in 2 forums so far... joined an extra one a few days ago... (it's interesting to see the difference because this one's a different type of community)

On an extra note, I made my peace with old friends whom I eventually realized were not worth my while, but no worries, because god has blessed me with new ones... and I confess I am forever grateful. lol

This is all generally speaking... never ask a writer to go in details... for mind you... I will.

PS. not feeling ready for Ramadhan........ but fasting's kinda beginning to simplify my diet. May that be of use to me.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Down The Pit

Underworld by ~TripleTee on deviantART

So I drew this ages ago... but this image was drawn from a feeling. Resembling a prediction I was making. The prediction said "It's all going down"... down there... and all the girl could do was watch.
Or perhaps whatever fell was thrown by her... because she figured there was no use of it... that all it gave her was trouble. It's like throwing the obstacle on her way into the pit.

I'm going back to Uni in 2 days... back to a backwards society which I am apparently supposed to learn something from. (no offense) I did after all learn the unexpected... which I will reveal later on.

But I know... somehow... someone somewhere's always got my back.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Soul of Art

The definition of art comes in variations. To me… art is seeing the beauty in everything. You cannot tell a person what beauty should look like. You cannot define beauty by mere words. Beauty lies only within those who see it to be. And those who don't would describe something else to be beautiful. Beauty is only beautiful when it is recognized.

Art is bringing out beauty to the eyes of those who didn't see it in its usual form. It awakens feelings, passions, emotions.

Since artists have different aspects that trigger their feelings, their arts come in different forms to correspond to that feeling, therefore no one whatsoever is eligible to tell an artist what his artwork should look like. Artists do not negotiate their feelings no more than they negotiate their art. Artists are their own masters in what they create.

Art has no rules. No boundaries.

The only boundary art has.. is the extent of your imagination.

^That's my definition of art.

No this image is not to the extent of my imagination... i can go further :p... it's just a start.
let's just say every artwork I draw is a start to something bigger. I can only hope I reach a point one day where I would say "yes, this is it!"

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Out of Bed

I am in a pissed mood today... I was not woken up the way I hoped to be... I am supposeto be leaving here 12... I get a call from my stepmum 8 am while I'm fast asleep asking me when I'm leaving (when I already bloody told her yesterday).
Mornings are the wrong time to call me... I couldn't think on the phone... I was like "uhh...I don't know, let me go check".... I go to my laptop.... check the timetable... try to call back from my mobile>> no credit. So I was forced to go all the way down just to call her (while in face she was just in her room)... and when I was done...I planned to go straight to sleep. I come back and find my bed being stripped off naked for cleaning.
Now here I am... and I am pissed :XD:

What's pissing me off even more now... is I couldn't find a decent picture to put in here from my usual deviantart cuz obviously anything to do with the word bed brings out nudity.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Competition Has No Limits... Competition Has No Mercy

Let me explain the situation before I head into anything. I've been living with the students of the foundation year ever since I joined uni... and the foundation year students may well be consideres amatuers. But since this is my first year I had to join them. Now that I passed the tests of the foundation and moved straight to my major... I have the choice to live with the bigger girls.
Except that I was already settled where I was... but I had a problem and still do.

The foundation year girls are loud like any you ever meet. They're LOUD in their talk, loud in the night... loud in the afternoon. there's hardly a time they're not loud... and one day it got to the extent of me marching out of my room and going after them.

Tee: would you most awefully mind being quiet

Girls: (fall silent and turn their backs talking)


Girls: (stop in their tracks and all look at me.... dead silent)

one of the girls: There's no need to shout

Tee: is there not?

Girl: that's very disrespectful

Tee: and you shouting around the corridors is respectful surely.

(The bigger girls walk over to that girl and tell her to stop arguing with me... then they ask me to calm down... and I just walked into my room banging my door shut)

Now in that scenario I was as angry as ever....

I asked for the loud girls' names and told my stepmother I need to change dorms. She told me I've the possibility of moving in the other side of campus where the older girls are. i asked whether any rooms were free there, she answers:

mom: that doesn't matter.

Tee: so you'll kick any girl from there to give me a room? (shocked)

mom: Tee... it's honorable of you to think that way... but seriously... stop worrying about others... this is a competition... people take what they can get, not make way for others... you'll never get anywhere if you're like that.

Guys..... anyone reading this.... I think the title says it all... and I am still startled and confused. Is this the way it should be?

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Jibber Jabber, Blibber Blabber

Sooo... I feel strangely stiff and unusual... ... ...
I didn't save the world as I promised myself to do when I was a child... oh well.

Exams are nearing... not a good sign... nope.. no no.

Been busy being entertained but "Finding Neverland", "POTC 2" and "Memoirs of a Geisha"... in which I started loathing the very look of the mirror. Geishas are fabulous... as artists that is.

Down to the point... getting on the net was quite a hassle previously... and now I have net in my dorms so that's halelluja to me...

5th point for this entry... I have never seen any type of girls ever giving ruder stares to each other more than arabs. Why look at other girls with such distaste and jelousy?... Are they that insecure and unconfident?
Why is it that when I talk to some girls here they look as if I came from the other end of the world?

Girl: Tee, where are you from?

Me: Oman...

Girl: You're Omani??!! Where from??

Me: Nizwa

Girl: Are you serious??!! Here??!!! Can't be!!!

Me: *stares at her*... (I've given up asking why and what makes them so surprised... I know why.. I've seen them look at foreigners in a way that there's no way they'll live up to them.)

I remember being thought to be either a bahraini or jordanian or zanzibari or lebanese<<(It's obviously not right but that lebanese comment nevertheless damn right flattered me, yet also confirmed to me how clueless and under the rocks these girls are)...

but something took that wonder away and replaced it with distainment

I asked the girl once again why she finds me or some of the other girls she pointed out to be non-omani.
She said because you're fair and somehow look different (usually features they find amazing).

Now this is the thing with the Omanies here... are they trying to say Omanies usually look ugly?... ok yes... I've seen a lot of ugliness I admit... but there are some really pretty ones... why the hell do I hear them putting themselves down??
There's nothing I hate more than to see people feeling sorry for themselves and talk so lowly. It lets the little respect I have for them fade.

I just feel like I want to get that chair over there and throw it at her.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Blogger's Block

Terribly sorry for delaying the update. And to be honest neither is this a decent update cuz I'm having what I'd probably call a Blogger's Block. Even though I have loads of things to talk about... it's just too much I don't know where to start and where to end. ...
The topics are so random... my mind's pending.

I'll try being around ... until thunder rumbles and perhaps luckily awakens my brainstorm.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Rat Attack

Last Thursday I believe, Stella and I went shopping to get some ingredients so we could cook at my house. We were planning to make her special recipe... Mexican Food. Except that........ the process wasn't as quiet and relaxing as expected. Why?

Because we spotted a RAT in the kitchen running around!!! A rat that looked almost exactly like the one below.

Stella and I just froze in our places and she kept on clinging to me asking me to make it go away. That was funny actually since I had absolutely no intention of stepping a foot close to that creature... I'm not saying I hate them... but I'm terrified from rats because they're just not usual to see and they carry bad viruses and are known to come out of sewers and what not... unless the cartoons were wrong.

So I went to the maid and told her there was a rat... this is what happened:

Tee: Rose!!! There's a rat in the kitchen!!

Rose: yes, I know. It's been there for a week now?

Tee: what?? *Stella laughing in the background*

Tee: why didn't anyone get it out?

Rose: I don't know.

Tee: didn't the doctor see it? (my stepmum)

Rose: yes she did.

Tee: and how did it survive for 1 week?

Rose: The doctor feeds it.

Tee: WHAT???!!! *Stella laughs even harder"

Tee: what does she feed it????

Rose: Cheese and Turkey Breast.....

*Tee stares at Rose in shock*

Tee: *looking back at Stella* what now?

Stella: we'll have to cook... ignore the rat.

(which later we did)

so we waited a while and got the ingredients and things ready... until I lighted the fire on the stove and we suddenly hear the rat screaming inside, We literally stopped doing everything and stood to listen. I was happy I thought I killed it finally, but to my disappointment.

Stella: wait look Tee!! It's there!!!

Tee: Damn it!!

Feeling low I just did whatever I had to do in the kitchen with Stella and got out of there as soon as we could.

Regarding the rat... let me just inform you all that it was in the kitchen before in the hole of the stove... and I saw it pull a cooked WHOLE chicken towards the hole.
Stella said she only thought these things happen in cartoons.... but I've seen it in front of my very eyes...

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Nizwa Word Inventions

"With ignorance comes creativity"

That's a lesson one of the professors was trying to teach us in Linguistics.
And he Proved it!!! It was Hilarious... what happened was as follows:

Prof: Another way of having new words added into a language is backwards inventions.
Backwards inventions is when one derives a word from another language instead of deriving it from the root. Like "Editor"
Editor was a word in itself... it was derived from another language... people were ignorant about that fact and thought editor had a root word "Edit". And that's how the new word "edit" was brought into the language.

Students: *laugh*

Prof: see how ignorance can be useful?... let's take a live example then shall we?... Give me the root word of "assumption"

Students: *uncertainly shout out* "Assump"!!!

Prof: Assump??... really??... Do you know you've just come up with a word I never heard... nor does it even exist in the english language. The root word for assumption is assume.


Prof: but who knows... perhaps assump would become a new word in the English language invented by 7atharatkum, Nizwa students!!...

After all even though it's ignorance... some use can come out of it.

Me: tssssk.... ignorance indeed.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Can't Seem To Pull It Off Right!

Alright!!! That's it!!!... I'm gonna have to let this out somehow...
I'm starting to HATE giving presentations cuz NOTHING I say turns out right!!!

1st presentation was about the reformation period. I said almost ALL there was to say about it and the professor said he would consider it a 4/10 because I didn't mention it's impact on the Renaissance Period.

He could've said write about the reformation's impact on the renaissance and not simply the reformation then, surely?

2nd presentaion he told me to talk about Percy Shelley, so that's who I talked about... Percy Shelley!!... but nooo, I did equally bad because I talked about the person.... not his impact on the Romantic Period.
well isn't Percy Shelley the bloody person??!!!

is this my daftness or his English failure in passing the message?

I'm really pissed this will start affecting my marks!!!

Next time, if EVER he asked me to talk about let's say "Satan" I won't. I'll talk about his bloody IMPACT on my bloody thoughts, this very bloody Period!!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Words Unspoken

Words Unspoken

From far within the widest seas
In waters cold and oceans deep
There will be times, when heedless rhymes
Will throw in words for minds to keep

Those words that form one's true concern
With which those eyes would start to weep
One's pointless aim, to give the blame
To minor numbers down the heap

Yet nameless folk would neither care
Nor try to see how things would be
If those who play, would stop their way
And leave their place in history

Then times will come and leave its age
To where its age decides to be
And those who claim, to know the game
Know naught of its adversary


This was a poem I wrote at a moment when my nerves were almost at an end from a forum I partly moderate together with a number of admins and moderators. That would be English Sabla.
That day I started realizing and understanding how certain moderators used to feel and what they had to deal with.
Some started dictating to me that I was wrong in my judgements and perhaps I was, the team themselves responded little, yet showed support in public.
Certain things can be hectic and you can't always please everyone. You try and get snapped at in return.
This poem was just something I happened to feel like writing at a blink of an eye.
Everything has its ups and downs. However, there will be a time when I'll decide to move on and inshalla find myself a better successor.
But ofcourse only when my nerves can't support it anymore... which is a difficult level to reach.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

20 Years Later

So I've outlived 20 years now... my last birthday was no doubt amongst the ones I enjoyed the most. I got well wishes from some I never thought would actually remember, so it made me pretty happy, not to mention having 2 cakes made for me.
I just wanted to thank my dear friend SteLLa and her family for granting me that day. I feel like nothing I do could possibly repay that.
In addition to my Blind_Melon :p and her friend whom I had the pleasure of meeting that day.

If anyone wondered how I feel... well.. I feel not ready... somehow 20 means entering the age of adulthood.... no more teen in the picture. I feel like I have no choice but to go through it and face what the coming years hold for me. In a way the thought scares me. And despite me having a fortune teller << not exactly... just someone who studied my zodiac sign and the exact day and time I was born to tell me about myself.... well despite of her telling me I have a prosperous future due to my personality. Knowing how much I distrust predictions I don't feel any more confident.
Well... who knows... I'll just cross my fingers and try climbing those stairs once again. Perhaps start a new page.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

An Old Tree

Through my days I've grown deep roots
Going down to ancient mines
Arrows, armors, scripts and flutes
Dating from beyond the times

Through those times I've lived to see
Streaks of endless history
I have seen what used to be
Secrets kept a mystery

I'm an old unheeded tree
Yet my age goes far beyond
Every day some pass by me
Unaware of times I bond

All the time such natures form
Full of signs and tracks of old
All this time those days once norm
Have become long tales untold

all rights reserved

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Hard Nuts to Crack

Sometimes I really wonder about those who’ve got a heart of steel… nothing you do or say could ever get to them. They don’t take crap from others and tend to be very straight forward.
The person closest to being my role model is like that. Only I’ve always had difficulties mastering it myself. Personally thought such reactions resemble arrogance, over-confidence, selfishness and inaccessible trustworthiness. I saw it as cruelty. Yet somehow through past experiences… I start understanding their egos. I observed how rolled over you get if kindness and sensitivity exceed in you. And perhaps those who refrained from being so may not have been so without a good reason. It acts as a form of barrier.
Does that necessarily mean they’re heartless or self-centered?
Or that they merely care no less?
Guess it simply means they’re hard nuts to crack. Hard people to fool and hard people to get to.
And in a way… I admire that. lol

Monday, February 26, 2007


Yess... I'm back in Uni and finally managed to find a way to update somehow. Sorry for the long delay. Still don't have my laptop but I'm doing fine I guess.

Let's see... since I've limited time I'll make this quick:
Recent Random Thoughts.
-Finished giving a presentation about the Reformation period before the Renaissance and the reign of Queen Elizabeth I... Basically talked about Martin Luther and King Henry VIII. (yes I'm showing off my Literature now)

-Getting used to the system here... I realized once you know your way around you've got further options as long's you know how to go by finding them. Somehow... I'm getting familiar with the phrase "There's no point of what you have if you don't know how to use it"

-I saw my mother in uni :o... no... the 2nd version of my mother in uni... a girl... her reactions, her personality, her jokes, her expressions..... are almost identical to my mom!!!!.... if I didn't know better and know my mom was still alive I woulda thought this girl's her reincarnation.

-I think I'm familiar with around over 100 girls now... all of which either live with me or come from outer space... hostels...
I met 3000 aliens>> which is just about the number of undergraduates and graduates we have here... since they're all alike... probably my group of friends and I are the aliens. Ironically.

-I'm learning how to cook Omani food... which the girls here are experienced in like they know their own names.

-I got a 3.4 GPA... due to me ditching one subject... it lowered my mark by 5... and no... I refrained from ditching any more... honest.

there's a lot more to say but I guess I'll leave it for later...
Bottomline is all's well my side...
hope all's well with you fine readers..

Sunday, February 11, 2007


I want to apologize and announce that I won't be updating for a while due to my laptop crashing. Of all parts the motherboard.... what luck eh?

well I hope I'll manage to get back to motion soon and make up for the delay.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tag, you are it.

Tagged by dearest 3anooda & Blind Melon:

What will happen to your e-mail when you die?
Float in cyber space until it gets deleted.

Did you try once to give the password to someone? If yes, what kind of relation that you have with this person to trust him/her and give him/her the key of your secrets?
I have... basically because I have no secrets worth hiding from them and because I don't believe they've got any interest or objective to do anything with it. :p

Your famous nickname among your Friends?

Your age?

Your horoscope?

Your qualifications?
English Literature

Your character "personality"?
Like doing things my way, and don't like being told what to do

What travel means to you?
Seeing new places, new people, new cultures... etc.

What do you purchase?
What I need (and sometimes what I like :p)

Your time out of peak
Net, games, books, music...... Net...

Features taken from your dad
Eyes, hands and feet :p
Leadership qualities

Features taken from your mom
being out-going
Hi spirits
High self-esteem

The most 6 things you hate-
-people who're 2 faced
-people who give no face
-people who're full of themselves.

The most 6 things you love-
-those with high intelligence levels
-the way lawyers think
-cinematic sequences
-stories with morals
-art in all its forms

What a job means to you

What computer and internet mean to you
-The world in digital form

You would like to pass this tag to:-

Friday, January 26, 2007


For these various reasons:

-I can't find my mouse... (been looking for it for ages now and I just can't seem to find it... I soo badly want to draw something good but I can't do that without it... for heaven's sake, people who take such things should at least have the courtesy to tell me. Let me just get my hands on that bro of mine. It MUST be him)

-I'm running out of coloring ideas to make my drawings look like the exact images I have in mind. My outcome's never the same. It's starting to worry me.

-I'm starting to hate Oman's weather now a days. The temperature's just perfect for spreading fevers. I feel a fever's going to hit me all over again. If it was a hint colder or warmer I would've at least known what to wear.

Now it's back to wearing that pink jacket and hope my cat won't attack me again.
As usual... been lazing around in that exact spot you see almost all day.
Trying to decide which software will suit my drawing requirements to make the image I have in mind...

This must be friday's curse... annoying things always happen on this day...
wonder what the zodiac sign says about Pisces and Fridays?... Surely not their lucky day?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Absent Minded

I was in one of the rooms upstairs where there's wireless connection, and usually when the browser stops working I go down to the library to switch off the ADSL and switch it back on again.

Today I went down with the intention of going to the library to do that... except that instead of stopping down the stairs... I continued walking all the way down to the kitchen... and once I was there I stopped still... stood there for 5 minutes... wondered what I was there for.

If only you knew how far the kitchen is from the library... and how long I walked all the way down before I actually remembered that's not where I wanted to go.

I'm really wondering what'll happen when I grow old.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

A Walk To Remember

Nope... not the movie... my day. Why? because I spent almost half of it walking.
First it was in the shores of shatti then in the festival. From 6 to 10:30... count that.... 4 and a half hours of steady walking. So how many calories did I burn?
Well, I may as well describe what I saw along the way.

In the Beach:

- I saw holes in the sand that I usually thought were where the crabs lived. Then looking ahead I saw these birds with long beaks digging into the sand looking for something to catch. (there I knew where the holes came from)

-gazing above I saw other birds flying in formation. It was a trick with the wind someone explained to me. Those birds who were flying in circular motion did it where there was warm air to help them rise further up. And those who flew in a triangular shape did it to lower the air resistance. ... Interesting.

In the Festival:

-the usual crowd. Nothing special except the clowns and the fireworks from close up.

Now I'm back home and I realized it feels pretty good to lay down after a long walk. I feel that at least for once ... I may actually deserve it. lol

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Small Things

I'm done with watching Princess Mononoke a dozen times already thanks to Red Dragon's link to torrents.
And I figured something through it. The song I mentioned I've been playing on my org thinking it was a song from that movie was NOTHING like it!!!....
I wish I could create my tunes on the laptop so I could make you guys listen to the difference.
But that would mean something else...
It's pretty much a song of my imagination then. And it's a tune I happen to like... therefore I'm happy something like a movie I've only seen once before could inspire something like that.
When I manage to create it here I'll show you.

On another note... My cat "Shadow" attacked me yesterday. Just like that. I was sitting, she was staring at my jacket and she out of the blue attacked it so furiously that her teeth sunk THROUGH my jacket. That somehow caused me some scratches...
cats are marvelous creatures aren't they?... but somehow I felt I wanted THAT particular one away from me. Until I found out the reason behind her sudden outburst. Which I until now don't happen to know.

Muscat Festival started... and for some reason... I'm not that keen on trying out the rides as I used to be. Something's wrong with me... I know I LOVE rides.... but I guess it's no fun when you're the only one willing to go on them while the rest shiver... I guess I'll pass.

I've been lazing around the whole day today. I feel weak. This weather's been getting everyone sick lately... my time's up. It's gonna last for a while as well. So I guess I'll be lazing around a lot more.

Listening to: Celtic Moods (River Dance)
Mood: Tired

Monday, January 01, 2007

Princess Mononoke (Hayao Miyazaki)